College Math Teacher Rule #1: Go to Class!

While reading this blog by a family member of mine and thinking about how funny her students are, I realized that I am a teacher too. Yes, I teach a class. I have 31 students. It's only just started to hit me that Tuesday was my last day of teaching them ever. The last memory they'll have of me is turning in their final exam next week. Maybe I should make it easier than the previous exams.

Anyway, I was thinking about all the funny things her students do and say. Why is it that mine aren't that funny? Is it because I only have 31 of them when I imagine she has a lot more, or is it because my students are on average 4.5 years older than hers? Do kids really mature that much in 4.5 years? Maybe it's just being in college. Or maybe it's because my average attendance rate is 22/31 students and the funny ones choose to skip class.

Whatever the case may be, I've discovered that math tends to be a rather boring subject for many students. After being entirely disappointed that one of my students fell asleep during class, I decided I needed to fix this problem. So, the next class I came up with a question about the TV Show, the office. Here is how I presented the problem during class: After 50 minutes of usual class, I told everyone to stand up and tell two people their favorite TV show. Then we proceeded to work out this question:

The Michael Scott Paper Company has just opened with 3 employees: Michael, Pam, and Ryan. In addition to their regular tasks, there are 3 additional tasks that need to be done each week by any of the 3 employees (copy materials, purchase bulk paper, contact clients). Their efficiencies on these tasks differ, where the time each would need to perform the tasks is given by the following table:

Time needed per week
Copy Materials Order Paper Contact Clients
Michael 5.9 hours 1.8 hours 6.7 hours
Pam 4.5 hours 2.4 hours 6.3 hours
Ryan 5.1 hours 2.2 hours 5.8 hours

Each task should be done by exactly one employee, and each employee can do at most two of the tasks. Additionally, each employee has some requirements: if Pam copies materials, she will not have to do either of the other two tasks; Ryan will not copy materials and order paper combined in the same week; and Michael will not spend more total time than Ryan. Formulate this as an integer program (decision variables, objective, and constraints) to minimize the total amount of time spent on these extra duties per week. Do not attempt to solve.


And to finish up, here are a few random comments from my students:

• Student: What's your last name? (This was the last day of class. I think he knows my first name at least.)
• Student: Can you just give us the exam problems?
• Student: I like the way you taught class. 
• Student: How do you do this problem? Me: Were you  in class on Thursday? Student: No. Me: We did it in class on Thursday.
• Student: My birthday is today! I'm 23! Me: *Not saying anything but realizing that I'm barely a year older than him.*
• Student: Can I miss class tomorrow to take an exam for another class? Me: So you're saying your other class is more important than mine?
• Student: I'm feeling a little lost with the homework. Me: Were you in class on Thursday? Student: No. Me: You should have come to class!
• Student: Don't worry, I love you too. *Looks around awkwardly.* (He said this to me after telling me he loved our TA. I guess he didn't want me to feel left out.)

I guess college students aren't as funny as high school students. And for anyone reading this who is still in college, here is my rule for you: go to class! It's rather annoying when students ask questions that were answered during class.